In a Foxhole...

There are many very good reasons to find yourself in a foxhole right about now. The economy. Lay-offs. Debt. Uncertainty. Stress. Teenagers. Do any of these ring a bell with you? What about the climbing divorce rate? Child sex trafficking? Extreme poverty? I at times feel so overwhelmed by the facts. It seems like jumping into the foxhole and waiting it out is my only option. Brady Boyd, Pastor at New Life Church, stated "Foxholes were not designed for long-term living." He is right. Brady went on to say, "If you live in a foxhole, you will certainly die there."

Earlier this year I went to Uganda, Africa. I met extreme poverty face to face. I saw little kids only days away from death. I responded like any human would. I cried. I then joined a group that is up to something. Doing something about it. And I give. I give a lot. Then I jumped back into the foxhole. I feel myself many times thinking about them. It hurts to think about them. It moves me. It wrecks me. My heart turns violently in my chest. I usually start thinking of something else. Anything else. I jump back into the foxhole. However, I don't want to die in the foxhole.

So why am I in this foxhole? What am I waiting for?

"Foxholes were not designed for long-term living." Brady Boyd

What are the consequences for getting out of the foxhole? How great could it feel to charge ahead? Storm the enemy? What if I take a bullet? What if I loss it all?

Brady finished up with saying, "What we believe will determine how we behave."

I am one voice. I am one heart. I am one sacrifice. It is time for me to get out of this foxhole! It is time for me to take ground. Charge ahead. Conquer.

AIDS vs Malaria

Dr. Josie Di Giacinto Dovidio was part of the team I went to Africa with. She has described our experience at the Hospital in Masaka. You can read her other post at http://ow.ly/1ghlE

AIDS vs Malaria

At breakfast, Johnny, the Executive Director of ARM, told us about a man he met who lived in the epicenter of HIV/AIDS. Growing up as a boy in Uganda, he remembers his village and a neighboring village having animosity toward each other. Back then, and still today, the villages of Uganda were steeped in witchcraft and promiscuity.

One day, the neighboring villagers came over and put a curse on the village. The following week, three people on his street died. The villagers believed it was because of the curse so the leaders of the boy’s village went over and put a curse back on them. The next week, several people in that village died.

In Ugandan custom, when there is a death in the community, someone from your family must attend the funeral to pay respect to the dead. He remembers for a period of time, his family was going to funerals nightly!

As it turns out, these people weren’t cursed, they were dying of AIDS. It was spreading rampantly due to promiscuity.

Unfortunately, this problem remains today. One of our leaders, Trudy, is a native Ugandan who now lives in Minnesota. She has lost 6 siblings to AIDS and currently has another sister afflicted. Most of the children under the care of ARM have lost their mothers and fathers to AIDS. If these orphans were not taken in and cared for under ARM sponsorship, they would be “street kids” left to wander the streets, susceptible to child sacrifice as recommended by witchdoctors, who believe that sacrificing children will bring prosperity and heal illnesses.

Can you imagine if you and your spouse died today, how would your young child survive? I know you are finding this hard to believe but trust me. I am seeing these conditions with my own eyes.

Today we drove to Masaka, about a 2 hour drive, to a hospital known for treating pediatric AIDS. Prior to our visit, we met with the Chief of Staff and his nurses and other hospital facilitators. He mentioned that in addition to the AIDS clinic, he wanted to bring awareness to the rest of the hospital. While focusing on the AIDS crisis is worthy, he feels that the “glamour” of AIDS (helped by people like Bono, etc) overshadows the bigger crisis in the area, Malaria.

As it turns out, more kids die each year of Malaria than of AIDS. Malaria is a preventable and curable disease. Parents just don’t recognize the symptoms or can’t afford the treatment which consists of a pill regimen.

So, we decided to see a few wards of the hospital.

We started in the AIDS clinic, where the waiting room is outdoors with just a small roof to cover the seats. It was full and most patients there, young children, have walked to the clinic by themselves due to not having caretakers (likely, parents died of AIDS or Malaria). I saw a 7 year old girl holding hands with her 4 year old sister and she is clearly mothering her as she wipes the dust off her dress. The sadness in their eyes is heartbreaking. It’s as if they are just going through life’s motions. There is no joy or spark in their eyes.

There are also grandparents who have brought the children they care for due to the death of their parents.

The hospital staff encouraged us to pray and encourage their patients, so Johnny, our fearless leader, started talking to the 150 people in the waiting room. This hospital currently treats 10,000 AIDS patients. There are no beds for this ward. Patients just show up for their medicine and wait their turn in this waiting area.

As he started talking, through an interpreter, you can tell he was empowered by a higher source and started preaching the gospel message of Jesus’s love for us. Everyone clapped and shouted “Amen”, throughout his message. The faith of these sick and dying people is amazing. Even a Muslim grandfather stood up and thanked us for encouraging the people of the community.

Our team passed out quilts made by a church group in Minnesota. This brought so much joy to the patients. And they thanked us profusely and bowed on one knee as we gave them their blankets. One mother was so excited to receive a blanket for her daughter that she jumped up and down and laughed with pure joy!

After that we headed to the maternity ward which consists of about 20 beds in one room. You give birth there in front of everyone. There are no private rooms, no monitors, no ice chips and no cribs. Just you, your family and everyone else giving birth that day. After you have your baby, you bundle it up and it stays on your bed with you.

We passed out blankets there, too. They were overjoyed. One lady sat up to give one of us a hug and we noticed that she had 2 blankets but only one baby on her bed. As we went to get the extra blanket, someone else told us that she was having twins and was currently laboring to get the other one out!!!! Hello?! She was so thrilled to see us that she wanted to sit up and hug us during her pushing!!!

At the other end of the room, I noticed that a few ladies hadn’t received a blanket. So I walked over to give them one. One lady, covered only from the waist down by a sheet, thanked me for the blanket profusely. She had no baby on her bed. It died during childbirth. So here she is now, in the same room as mothers with 20 new born babies, just having lost her child. It’s unimaginable to us in the States.

Then, we headed to the children’s ward. Before entering, we were warned that this was going to be a difficult thing to see. The stench as we walked into the ward was stifling. Parents littered the hallway holding their sick and crying children. This is also one big room with 2 dividers. There are 52 beds but 87 patients admitted, so mothers hold their sick children in the hallway.

The listlessness and lethargy of the sick children is heartbreaking. If a child had any energy, they cried tears of pain. Most of our team was brought to tears. Medications (read “shots”) are given in the hallway in front of everyone else.

We prayed for the children in the bed area and passed out beanie babies that were donated to me for the trip. The mothers were thrilled to receive the gift, the children too sick to care.

As we were leaving the ward, we were stopped by the parents in the hallway who told us we couldn’t leave yet because we hadn’t prayed for their children yet. These people were desperately coveting our prayers. So, of course, we prayed.

Needless to say, the bus ride home was very quiet as we mentally processed what we just saw. There is no way to prepare for that experience. There is also no way to accurately describe it. I hope this gives you a glimpse.

Today, hug your child. Praise them and be grateful for their health. No matter what you are going through today, these people are experiencing worse…everyday.

What about Character?

When was the last time you thought about someone's character? What about your character?

Eliot Spitzer. Mark Sanford. John Edwards. Ted Haggard. Jimmy Swaggart. Bill Clinton.


These are just some of the names that come to mind when I think of men with no character. Have you ever said that? No Character. Is it possible for someone to have no character?

“I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years.” - Bill Clinton

Let me tell you this. We all have character. Let me explain.

Let's pick a few character traits. Forgiving. Self-less. Humble. Patient. Respect. Who do you think of that exhibits these? Are they consistent with them? Does the person you are thinking about have a history of walking on water? Do you either have these or not? I would suggest we need to expand them. I like to call it range.

What is the opposite of Forgiving? Unforgiving.

Self-less - Self-ish
Humble - Arrogant
Patient - Impatient
Respect - Disrespect

I think we all live somewhere in between these boundaries. There are times when I would be characterized as a forgiving person. There would be other times when I may be characterized as being unforgiving. The goal over time would to be more to the left and less to the right.

Have you ever driven a car with a tire that's out of alignment? The front right tire is pulling WAY right. What happens when you let go of the steering wheel. Yep. Ditch. To keep that from happening. You struggle. You stay very aware of where that tire wants to go. You keep both hands on the steering wheel. On a long road trip, this can be aggravating. Fatigue comes on fast. Using this metaphor, why is it that our front tires in life always take us to the right? To the ditch. Have you even been patient on accident? You are just naturally humble and self-less? Not me. When I let go of the steering wheel in my life. I head straight to the ditch!

Think about each one of these? Where are you right now? How bad is your life pulling you to the ditch?

Remember. You have character. We all do. It's just a matter of which way you are pulling.

Feedback

I'm not talking about the kind you get from a microphone!

Remember what mom used to tell us. No news is good news! This statement has had more impact on me than I had thought. How many of us really believe this statement. If you don't hear ANYTHING from your spouse. From your boss. From your kids. From the lottery. That is good news. Maybe even great news. Thank goodness I didn't hear from them! Isn't that crazy. And why did mom tells us this? I think it's because she was covering for dad. Not just my dad, but all dads. Normally Dad's don't bring the positive feedback so our mom's came up with this phrase.

There are three types of feedback.
1. Positive
2. Negative
3. None

Feedback. Here is what I know about it. It needs to be sincere. It needs to be specific. It needs to be soon. Hundreds of studies have been conducted to see how we humans respond to positive feedback. By positive I mean you have done a really good job doing something. You got dirty. You persevered. You stuck with it. You wrestled with the situation and brought home victory. I think you get the picture. One study in particular stands out to me. They took a group of volunteers and placed electrodes to the heads to measure brain activity. They then took them to Vegas. When a participant would win a large amount of money, the brain meter, that is what I call it, went off the chart. Now the task of seeing what other activities would compare to this spike on the brain meter. Guess what. A well placed, sincere, timely piece of feedback! The brain meter goes wild.

We also know for feedback to feel balanced. Meaning getting the at-a-boy's, versus the butt chewing feels equal. There needs to be at least 4 positive, catching them doing something right, compared to 1 negative. That's 4:1 to feel equal. Now open the balance book in your mind and do some quick math. Think about your spouse. Kids. Employees. Friends. How close are you to this 4:1. Are you more like 1 positive and 19 negatives for your oldest son! How many times have you said NOTHING.

Positive feedback is just about seeing someone doing the right behaviors and letting them know you appreciate it. When you do it, you will see the brain meter clanging. Negative feedback is when someone is just a doing it, but not how you would like them to do it. Most people I've met will say, " If I'm not doing it right. Just tell me." I believe them. When you are really clear on your expectations, you set yourself up for giving better feedback. The worst place to be is having completed a project. Looking at those in authority. Waiting. Waiting. Did they see what I did? Did I do it right? Nothing. The brain meter is silent. Then I can hear a slight little beep on the brain meter. Someone just remembered mom saying, "No news is good news."

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." - Ken Blanchard

Rock someone's brain meter today. Give them some much needed feedback. It will be like you just handed them a large sack of cash!

BBD (Bigger Better Deal)

The bigger better deal. Has this ever happened to you? It's happened to me. You tell a friend that you will help him move some firewood next weekend. The night before you should be going to fulfill your commitment, you get a phone call from someone you sort of know. They have invited you to join them on an all inclusive trip to Las Vegas. Absolutely free. What would you do? I can hear some of crying out that this is way to drastic! How about this scenario. You have made the same commitment as above. Friday night you get a phone call from someone that you would really like to hang out with. He has invited you to come over Saturday and watch some football. This could be your one and only chance to connect with this person.

This is what I mean by the bigger better deal.

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives” - Euripides (Greek playwright, c. 480-406 BC)

It comes down to the value of Loyalty. What are you loyal to? Sports team. Spouse. Employer. Brand of coffee. Coke or Pepsi. Employees. God. Family. Friends.

Brady Boyd, Senior Pastor at New Life Church in Colorado Springs, mentioned this topic in a recent gathering. When it comes to sports. When the Denver Broncos were 6-0, everyone one was a Bronco's fan. Then week 8 came. After the bye week, they couldn't win a game. The Colorado emergency rooms were full of broken ankles from people jumping off the band wagon. The Bronco's ended their season 8-8. What is it about those fans who will stay loyal thick or thin? But then there is the employee who changes jobs every year or two. The person who has been married 5 times.

Loyalty is proven in adversity.

Are you characterized by the BBD? Are you running a little low on loyalty? Don't be the bandwagon sports person. Don't be the one who will leave their spouse and kids. Don't jump jobs every year or two.

Be LOYAL!

"We will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be Steady

Imagine these pictures like a window. We are looking out at your circumstances. Take a long look. Imagine swinging back and forth with the sun warming the air around you, a cool breeze tickling the hair on your arms and falling asleep on a comfortable hammock. Incredible. It would be so easy to be the best you here wouldn't it? You would be so enjoyable to be around. Things just couldn't get any better!






What about the view from this window? The perfect storm. Everything is going wrong. Nobody likes you. You can't get wrong right. To get this point across, let me list a few country song titles. How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?, I Was Looking Back to See If You Were Looking Back to See If I Was Looking Back to See if You Were Looking Back at Me, and my favorite, You're The Hangnail In My Life, And I Can't Bite You Off. What is it like to be around you on this day? Pleasant? Full of possibility?




Far to often our circumstances determine what kind of day we are having. Things are going our way. We are having a good day. Things are not going our way. Our life is over.

Ready for some good news?

It IS possible to pull these apart. They are completely separate. Let the results be the results. Let self be self. How is this possible? Some of it is being able to answer these three big questions. What is my vision? What is my purpose? What is my mission? Inside each of these is knowing what your values are and honoring them at all times. Can you answer these right now? Do you have them written on paper? I bet you can't and I bet you don't. Will you do it after reading this? Statistics say most will not! If you are the one who hasn't taken the time to go deep and discover you, then you will live the rest of your life flipping back and forth from the top picture to the bottom picture. Good day. Bad day. Day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day after day...a life wasted.

Or.

This can be the start of finding the place of Steady. This I know to be true. You WILL experience the FULL range of the pictures. The pictures are your circumstances. Not you. Not your soul. Did you catch that? The picture is what we see looking OUT. What should we see looking IN? It's a window, not a mirror. When we look in, we should see Steady. Steadfast. Firm. Unfaltering. Resolute. Balanced.

Remember this. Are you looking out. Or are you looking in. Will you be your circumstances. Or will you be steady.

It's a window. Not a mirror.

Linger. Fun Word.

How quickly do you move on from a problem you just can't quite figure out? If you are like me you looked at the math problem and moved right on to the text. There is NO WAY I'm going to try and figure that out. If world power were determined by math skills alone, then we'd already be worshiping our new Asian imperial overlords. I read a recent study looking at how much time we Americans will spend with an obstacle versus others with similar situations. It's not even close. Another story looked at how confident we are versus the actual test score. Guess what. Students in the United States felt the most confident but scored the worst. Japan and Korea had the lowest confidence ranking but the highest math score.

I wonder how many people reading this blog didn't make it this far?

How often do you quit? You start strong. You rarely finish. You start reading the book. You start the diet. Cleaning out the garage. The gym membership. Reading the bible. No Coke. Date night. Journal. Take more pictures. Make the beds every day.

Then IT happens. We quit. We give up. We give in. We stop. We settle. We play small. We pass.

What is the "it". That voice that tells us to quit. You are doing push-ups. You get 8 in. The goal is 10. The arms are shaking. Your head is about to explode. And you stop. Who is in control of YOU. Could you have done 10 if your life depended on it? Why didn't we push through it? Where is the 'want to'?

“Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” Jacob A. Riis, 1849-1914


I would like you to think about the GAP. That moment right between just a doing it, and squat.
I know I can feel the tension between the two. The moment of decision. We all have a natural cadence. We are strolling right along. Obstacle. [Insert your time spent here] Then we quit.

Here is my challenge to you. Linger. When you find yourself in the gap. Don't move on with business as usual. Decide to stay there. Be there. Fully present. Give it one more. Why you may be asking. Because that is where great lives. This is where growth happens. They say the biggest obstacle to great is good. Remain or stay in that place longer than usual. What happens next is breathtaking. It's refreshing. It's unexpected. It's the answer. The solution. When we linger and stay with something, we are honoring something deep within us. It feels good. It feels great!

That relationship. Linger. The workout. Linger. The book. Linger.

You being the absolute best you. Linger.



Linger – verb (used without object)

1.	to remain or stay on in a place longer than is usual or expected